India is and has been a society dedicated to family values and more centered in family than fiercely individualistic. In fact individual rights and comforts are compromised with, almost on a regular basis. What with a guest coming at home where the family members are even ready to give their own bedroom for a few days, feeding first to the invitees, parents sacrificing their own aspirations and lifestyle for the welfare of their children, etc. The list goes on and on.....
The description above becomes more important when we look at the plight of widows in India. Now, it is definitely true that the conditions that widows are made to live in or life style they are expected to choose (due to society pressure) is pathetic. Widows young or old are forbidden to wear colorful clothes, can not sport any jewelry, head is either shaved or hair cut short, should sustain herself on minimal and meager diet, is to stay away from all gaiety and auspicious occasions and primarily spend her time in prayers, meditation, repentance and in service of the rest of the family till she breathes her last.
Now that surely is a pathetic condition for any one, especially taking into account that the status of a widow is not a fault of the woman herself. A woman can loose her husband due to illness, accident, war, crime or any other reason and none of this would be her fault, Still she is condemned to a lifetime of misery.
Question arises about the kind of society which sends its women to such a life despite no fault of hers. What kind of society can do this injustice. Why is it done? After all the philosophy of treating the Women as superior in status, power and capability so much as anointing her as a goddess. How can society banish her goddess to doom.
To an outsider's eye this may turn out as complete injustice, as it turned out during one of the visits of Oprah Winfrey to the holy city of Varanasi or "Benares" as it is also known. As per popular belief in India, a person who breathes his last in this city - the city of Lord Shiva is cleansed of all sins and goes to heaven. This belief has led many saints, enlightened souls and many others to come and live here especially in the ripe age so that they can die and unite with the almighty. Widows too have made Benares their home so that they can pass their time in service to the god and pilgrims and finally when they die they can be rid of all their sins. This is repentance for a sin which they haven't committed (at least in this life). Oprah came to India and visited Benares where she came to know of the entire story. She later voiced it on national news channels and vouched that she was greatly moved by it all and will surely do something to alleviate these widows from their conditions and expressed surprise on how such a peaceful and intelligent society treat their women in this manner.
With the perils of sounding biased and patriarchal, the Indian School of thought acknowledges the primary moving force as "Shakti" or the female force, which moves the world. Women thus become the pivot of all manifestations "Maya". Also in all societies, an unattached woman usually attracts many male suitors, both "eligible and taken", even discarded and detested ones. This gives rise to the chances of these widows coming in contact with married men in the society, Men who already are duty-bound to their families or another woman by virtue of nuptial vows. Availability of support and much desired love on part of the widow and excitement of forbidden fruit on part of the married male then becomes a seed, a catalyst in start of a fragmented society with a cascading effect.
The widow gets a new lover, renewed life and better chance to enjoy life. In turn she has already usurped the interests of another woman, another family and possibly the support system much needed by the children of this married man. But there is more to it as cascading effect. Now there is one more woman (not a widow in actual sense but nevertheless So) ready to either live neglected and difficult life on her own or venture out and start the vicious cycle all over again. So then it becomes individual pursuit of happiness as against the larger good.
With the perils of sounding biased and patriarchal, the Indian School of thought acknowledges the primary moving force as "Shakti" or the female force, which moves the world. Women thus become the pivot of all manifestations "Maya". Also in all societies, an unattached woman usually attracts many male suitors, both "eligible and taken", even discarded and detested ones. This gives rise to the chances of these widows coming in contact with married men in the society, Men who already are duty-bound to their families or another woman by virtue of nuptial vows. Availability of support and much desired love on part of the widow and excitement of forbidden fruit on part of the married male then becomes a seed, a catalyst in start of a fragmented society with a cascading effect.
The widow gets a new lover, renewed life and better chance to enjoy life. In turn she has already usurped the interests of another woman, another family and possibly the support system much needed by the children of this married man. But there is more to it as cascading effect. Now there is one more woman (not a widow in actual sense but nevertheless So) ready to either live neglected and difficult life on her own or venture out and start the vicious cycle all over again. So then it becomes individual pursuit of happiness as against the larger good.
Indian school of thought emerges from Karma and Rebirth. Therefore, the western premise of no fault doesn't stand as the society views the widowhood as a result of some previous karma in one of the previous lives of the individual which has finally borne fruit in this life and time. This fruit or result needs to be lived and experienced in full. The tough life, short hair, frugal life style mentioned earlier thus become useful to help this widow negate her innate desire to enjoy this material world by decreasing the life force from her body and surroundings. Absence of colour, good clothes, shaved head also make her slightly undesirable to the suitors.
To keep the society and family system as envisaged in olden times, this worked well. Possibly unmarried men should be allowed to marry the widows. I am still not able to reconcile myself with the individualistic approach towards the society as all I see is more and more vices and evils born out of this. Even within nuclear families, this approach creates further fragmentation. How sad it is to see each one care only of himself/herself, just like animals do. Then we shouldn't call ourselves human. Human values sprout from the very fact that we can reason and see the other points of view in a situation and overall have the capacity to sacrifice personal comforts for larger good of the family, society, country and the world.
To keep the society and family system as envisaged in olden times, this worked well. Possibly unmarried men should be allowed to marry the widows. I am still not able to reconcile myself with the individualistic approach towards the society as all I see is more and more vices and evils born out of this. Even within nuclear families, this approach creates further fragmentation. How sad it is to see each one care only of himself/herself, just like animals do. Then we shouldn't call ourselves human. Human values sprout from the very fact that we can reason and see the other points of view in a situation and overall have the capacity to sacrifice personal comforts for larger good of the family, society, country and the world.
